Omelette

My first attempt to an omelette. I now know it needs to be on medium heat the whole time. I was afraid to burn it so I lowered the heat. That want working. :) breakfast is served

Handsome man

Garage sale finds

Something i'll miss about summer garage sales.

Confession time

I've been feeling overwhelmed and stress which leads me to be sad.  So I turn to what I know. And I find this quote:
"Life becomes an unbearable burden whenever we lose touch with the presence of a loving Savior and see only hunger to be alleviated, injustice to be addressed, violence to be overcome, wars to be stopped, and loneliness to be removed. All these are critical issues, as Christians must try to solve them; however when put coven no longer flows from put personal encounter with the living Christ, we feel the oppressive weight."
-Henri Nowen

Now to allow this lesson into reality.

Arco iris

Arco iris means rainbow in spanish.  That's the word I've taught my niece recently.  I bought her a book in spanish that talks about the colors in the rainbow.  On Sunday I was at her house relaxing on the couch. She comes up to me with 4 different books and asks me to read them. Something she rarely does. I usually am the initiator
 She cuddles up next to me and points to the pictures when I ask her questions like "Do you see the color blue?"
These days in life are full of solitude (note: solitude and not loneliness), I've learned a lot about myself in quiet times. I like quiet times, more than I ever have in the past. In fact I used to be afraid of being alone. Learning how to be in solitude has I think helped me be more present even when I'm with people
As I sat with my niece it brought me joy that she chose me to sit next to me and share a moment together.  She is growing up so fast.

Mani/pedi

I'm writing this from my phone b/c I'm currently getting a pedicure. Since I didn't bring a book to read and I haven't written anything in a while might as well catch thing up while soaking my toesies :) I feel really vain doing it but I finally broke down. I deserve it after the month I've had.

Starting the 2nd week we had almost 200 kids come to church for vacation bible school. Kids learned about god's radical love. I ran with a couple of 6th graders the craft segment. So much fun.

Then that saturday I ran 13.1 miles in a See Jane run race. Never ran that far in my life. Now I can say I have. :) Woo hoo!

The next day I preached for the first time at college church. Another new experience!

Then lead a retreat with 16 5th and 6th graders. That weekend the wonderful and beautiful wedding of a friend.

Then the week that was supposed to be a break. I worked half day and the other half I took care of my nephew while he adjusted to daycare.

Then I was in a wedding of 2 very good friends. What a fun wedding!

And finally last week I spent it at girls camp with 182 girls. My title: Speaker. I spoke at chapel times hung out with girls in between canoeing, swiming and hanging fun.

All this might sound like a list of crazy busy to do's. During some of it, it did feel like obligations. Somewhere in the middle of it I came to the realization that THIS IS LIFE. New experiences, time spent with a handsome nephew, weddings and the whirlwind of life. There are so many breathes, lessons, laughs and tears that put all-together is life.

Life's is complete.

coming soon

as soon as I get a better handle on life with new job, school, new relationship I'll be writing about Easter.  I have lots of thoughts still percolating in my brain. But just to entice you here is a picture of what may be coming soon...

Update

So since I last wrote there has been multiple times when I've thought I should sit down and write on my blog but because of time contraints I couldn't but here is an update of going ons and I hope to write more in depth on certain experiences.  For now here is a list in no particular order:

1. Holy Week and Easter was wonderful!  Egg Scramble, I baptized 10 beautiful preteens, then had a great dinner with friends. God definitely is alive in my life in quiet but meaningful ways. I am not worthy of his love but I'm so utterly grateful.
2. I'm officially  a children's pastor now. 
3. I got to visit Kayla  and Lawrence (friends from college) and it was wonderful to get away and celebrate life with them!
4. It's spring and I'm so very grateful that things don't stay dark and dead around here!
5. I've found a bride's maid dress and am looking forward my friends' wedding!!
6. Although life has been hard and full of even more new things to get used to and understand life is still good.
7. I'm learning more things about friendships and what that means for me as an adult
8. I'm looking for a new place to live
9. Saw my friend graduate today and I'm so very proud of Anne!
10. I planted lettuce and they just sprouted.

I could think lots more but I think 10 is a nice number to finish with. Most of the above mentioned things are continually teaching me to continue to take everything step by step and with lots of prayer. 

NAMASTE

a faith story

NOTE: I preached the past Sunday here is what I said:

I vividly remember when I was perhaps eight or nine years old   following my mother around the house

             as she busily de-cluttering every room. 

I loved it when she did this because she would uncover so many little treasures

                                                                                                            that I had forgotten about.

I would be right behind her finding old toys that had been pushed under beds,

buried under other things

or hidden and forgotten.

  I’d play with them for a while until they’d get lost once again,

or my mom would take it as soon as I got distracted with another toy

That particular day I had discovered something more than a toy.

 I had discovered a very small orange book. 

This book you all have seen,

some of you have given them out many times. 

This little orange book I had decided that night I would read.

So I opened it and discovered many different words and stories.

Names I recognized but it had been a long time since I had heard them.   

In the fourth chapter of the gospel of Matthew

I found a story that would be for me another step closer

on the journey with Christ that I am on. 

and tonight we find ourselves in same story.

The chalky barren soil that once only covered his feet now covered his whole body.  

It was in his eyes, his mouth, his  hair

There he was led by the Spirit

It seemed a long time since he had heard his Father’s voice say

“This is my Son with whom I am well pleased”

As he sat in the desert,

weak and surrounded by the desolate ground and stones

he felt  every hunger pain

It was then that he was visited by the tempter who used those same rocks

to suggest to Jesus that that he should use his equality with God to

 summon food for himself. 

If you are the Son of God satisfy your hunger by making these stones turning into bread.

Although weak from hunger Jesus uses words that were taught to him as a young Jewish boy

“People do not live on bread alone but on every word that comes out of the mouth of God.”

As we follow the story found in the fourth chapter of Matthew

                        we hear echoes of other stories in our tradition;

stories of our collective past as God’s people. 

Jesus’ response to the tempter takes us to the story of Israelites in the wilderness.  

In this story God sustains the people with his  very promise;

the promise:

 Food for today

and God kept his promise with manna and quail.

In Deuteronomy 8:3 God reminds the Israelites about this story;

And tells them they are to learn humility and sole dependence on God.

This first temptation also reflects another story much earlier

 in fact the first story we hear in Genesis. 

The story of Eve and Adam enticed by fruit

and betrayed by the tempter’s lies of power and equality with God. 

We find that Jesus being the 2^nd Adam chooses dependence with his response

Again the tempter tests Jesus

taking him to the highest point of the Holy city of Jerusalem

and  telling him to jump. 

Scripture says “You will be taken care of, and all will know you are the Son of God. 

Once again Jesus utters words memorized from his youth. 

He uses the portion following the Shema

Jesus responds “Do not put your God to the test”

Jesus will ultimately come to Jerusalem some day

but it will not be on accusers terms and

he will not come with guns a blazing

but riding on a humble donkey. 

Once again Jesus response is

dependence

Jesus understood the Shema which says;

“Hear Oh Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5)

The last desperate attempt the adversary uses to lure Christ

Is similar to the second one

                        but this time he promises  not only that he can gain Israel

                                                                but also the whole world

if only he depends on the other.   

Once more we are taken back to the Torah in the book of Deuteronomy

same chapter as the Shema

“Fear the LORD your God and serve him only and take your oaths in his name.” (Deuteronomy 6:13)

For the third time Jesus chooses dependence

Jesus refuses to gain the whole world for the price of his soul. 

He refuses to enslave us by trickery or miraculous works

but instead calls the world to love him

for ultimately he is love perfected. 

I wondered what caused my little eight year old brain and heart to love this story of Jesus so much.

 I now know it was because in my reading I understood

Jesus was someone like me

 Some one who relates to me and my suffering,

Some one who was vulnerable to attacks

Who has heard the voice of the accuser spew lies

For me those lies are that I am too young

That I’m not good enough

That I don’t have enough experience

That I am not worthy of love

Christ had enabled me to  response:

It is not me but Christ who lives in me.

            For I can do all things though Christ

            And I am not alone

but stand the shoulders of faithful servants who for many many years have chosen Christ

and I follow their example.

What I have found in Christ is that he has renewed my heritage

and in my sometimes weak state it is the Holy Spirit who silences that voice of the accuser

and allows me to stand with Christ in freedom.

Just as with the stones in Jesus’ temptation narrative

The voice of the accuser uses our situation to question our dependence.

You may hear a voice that says

“What of your children,

Your brother, your sister,

your loved ones?

What have you done wrong?

            Why has your faith not saved them?”

Our dependence in Christ responds

“For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only Son not to condemn the world but to save the world through him”

            God’s love is not dependent on our response to him

Our loved ones are deeply and truly loved by God!

We choose to depend on God

            And pray and love all people

                        With the assurance that God’s love is with those who have not yet responded or have forgotten to respond to God.

We may also hear from the adversary:

“You are alone”

            “You are sick and no one can heal you”

                                    “The pain you feel now will be forever”

For lament, loneliness, pain and suffering there are no pat answers

We have the right to reside in anguish

But we also have the freedom knowing that we do not remain in anguish

                        We are simply waiting,

waiting on God and freedom in Christ and his resurrection.

That we may join in the story of Mary Magdelene at the empty tomb

            Where we can shout with her “RABBI”

                        And embrace our Savior here and now.

Author Steve Frost writes

“New life grows out of the soil of an honest engagement with our own pain”

There is no denying that pain, sorrow and suffering can exsist inour lives

But we find that new life is perfected in Christ.       

For by enduring suffering he empathizes

By resisting temptation he begins the process of the redemption of humanity,

empowering us to live fully.

Rejecting the accusers voice and become Kingdom builders.  

We find in Jesus the way to truly worship God with our hearts, minds and soul.

During this Lenten season my prayer is that we may we follow Christ and may our response be

dependence.

new life

I'm reading a book titled "Psalmist Cry" its and interview with Walter Brueggemann with commentary by Steve Frost. The thought that captured me tonight was the following:
"New life grows out of the soil of an honest engagement with our own deep pain."
I'm going have to let that sink into my heart and soul until it eventually comes out through my thoughts and actions.

I'm glad other people can say it better

I was perusing "The Poetry of Pablo Neruda" and came across one that I felt expressed how I sometimes feel. So I share with you (especially to you Alli)

We are Many

Of the many men who I am, who we are,
I can't find a single one;
they disappear among my clothes
they've left for another city

When everything seems to be set
to show me off as intelligent
the fool I always keep hidden
takes over all that I say.

At other times, I'm asleep
among distinguished people,
and when I look for my brave self,
a coward unknown to me
rushes to cover my skeleton
with a thousand fine excuses

When a decent house catches fire,
instead of the fireman I summon,
an arsonist bursts on the scene,
and that's me. What can I do?
What can I do to distinguish myself?
How can I pull myself together?
All the books I read
are full of dazzling heroes,
always sure of themselves.
I die with envy for them;
and in films full of wind and bullets,
I goggle at the cowboys,
I even admire the horses.

But when I call for a hero,
out comes my lazy old self;
so I never know who I am,
nor how many I am or will be.
I'd love to be able to touch a bell
and summon the real me,
because if I really need myself,
I mustn't disappear.

While I am writing, I'm far away;
and when I come back, I've gone.
I would like to know if others
go through the same things that I do,
have as many selves as I have,
and see themselves similarly;
and when I've exhausted this problem,
I'm going to study so hard
that when I explan myself,
I'll be taking geography

(Thanks Neruda for saying better than I would)

Valentine Quest part 3 Roses

So I couldn't decifer the last part and so I called Brendan after realize there is another part to my quest. After a few helpful hints (he told me what it said) I ran to the NNU prayer chapel and looked for "hidden roses in a bush". They are beautiful RED roses and with them an even more beautiful note. :)

Valentine quest part 3 the book cipher

So I went to lunch and tried my darnest to decipher the next part and it has proved to be quiet hard but fun! Its looking pretty good but alas I must return to work. But I go back happy and with a tummy full of baked potato soup and turkey holiday from Robins nest! :)

Valentine Quest part 2 library findings

So during lunch I merrily marched to the library to look for the "Sonnets from the Portuguese"" and in there I found a gift certificate to my favortie restaurant and a cd with some very cool things incuding Ted talks, W. Brueggemann, comedy and other fun stuff. Thanks Brendan you always make me smile! I'm going to lunch now.

Valentine's Quest

My wonderful friend Brendan has created a wonderful Valentines quest.
First part of my Valentine Quest was a puzzle that I solved and now has sent me to NNU library to look up a "sonnets from the portguese" by Elizabeth Browning. More updates to come as the day progresses! Oh did I mention I've been listening to a sappy love play list complete with Vicente Fernandez, Damien Rice, Plain White T's, Louis Armstrong, Nancy Sinatra and much much more. :) So much fun!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Super Bowl memory

Last week was Super Bowl Sunday -one of our greatest athletic traditions where die hard fans, sports lovers and even people who could care less gather together and spend time eating, cheering and laughing.

There are so many reasons why I love big game day.  This Super Bowl Sunday I remembered another reason I love this day.  My 6^th grade year, I had started going to a very little Nazarene church in Burbank California. The church had been doing a fundraiser where you could gift Bibles to other people. 

 On Super Bowl Sunday my Sunday School teachers and I were talking about the big game; where we’d spend it, who we were rooting for and so on.  While we were talking the assistant pastor, a very tall, intimidating man, walked into my Sunday School room with a Bible in hand.  He walked straight up to me, grabbed the attention of everyone in the room and said; “Emely De Leon today, February 3^rd, 1997 I present to you your Bible”.  Inside was my name and the date in very nice blue writing.  I remember my face turning a little red and quietly saying thank you, all the while feeling very embarrassed that he made such a big deal about it by singling me out, like some children do when they are singled out.

So this week as I was driving to church I was remembering why Super Bowl Sunday is so special to me.  I thought of how grateful I was that Pastor had made a big deal about me and my new Bible.  I imagined how often God makes a big deal about us when we choose to Love.  As I coach, teach and lead kids my goal is to make a big deal about every child because they are a big deal especially to God! I’m very grateful for the people who have cheered me on in Christ all these years. While I was embarrassed at the time now I look back and am encouraged all over again to live for Christ and build His Kingdom.

Yellow!

Note: This is from one of my many journals that I randomly write in. I recently discovered as I'm moving from being a piler of my crap, to a filer of my crap. I believe the entry was from new years a couple of years ago.

There is a tradition in Latin America that on New Years Eve is good luck to wear a new pair of underwear.  Last year I asked my mother to buy me new underwear for the new year.

"What color?" she asks. Now this isn't a strange questions because the color represents what part of your life you'll have good luck in..  Red = love White= harmony and peace, yellow= money, blue= health. 
So despite the last year of hurt and unluckiness in love I hesitated in telling my mother. This is the woman who's response to me telling her that my boy friend dumped me was; "Good riddance." The truth was all I wanted was  beautiful brand new pair of red panties to ring in the New Year. 

So instead I respond nonchalantly "Whatever color you think."

So what color does she get me ...


Yellow!

The color that will bring in for the new year money and prosperity. That is what she wishes for me. My mother who's personal philosophy was "stick to your man" despite years of abuse and betrayal.  The last person I'd label a feminist. Or look to for an example to take as a strong woman.

How wrong am I! As I look back I think. YELLOW! Prosperity, self assurance. My mother is one of  my biggest advocates. With that pair of yellow panties she lifts up a prayer for me.  That I may be fueled to prosper.  While yes, my mother may not be good with words. I try to remember YELLOW!

fears

Fears:

I will not be able to pay my bills and be a failed adult.

No one will remember me at least 10 years after I die.

I wonder how much of my life is propelled by my fears. Do I work and I love because of my 2 biggest fears?